Life Lessons- 11 Powerful Life Lessons Every Successful Woman Must Learn and Embrace


There are powerful life lessons that you, as a woman must learn and embrace.  These lessons will take you far.

Are you ready?  Let's enter the Life Lessons classroom!

Lesson 1:  How do tell if my career or business not in line with my dreams:

  • I am feeling/acting competitive rather than creative
  • I am constantly frustrated and feel stuck
  • I feel powerless and believe that lack of growth in my business is not my fault

Remedy:  Get still, pray, meditate and get in touch with what you really want and who you really are.  You are not going to focus on what your parents; significant, friends or boss says you are but who you are and what you really want.  You do know what you want but you are afraid to emphatically state what you want and take the action to get what you want.  You can have the business you want.

Lesson 2: How to tell if I am suffering from low self-worth and low self-esteem:

  • I believe I can’t afford to start a business, return to school or buy a house
  • I remain in painful, unfulfilling or abusive relationships or situations
  • I believe I don’t have enough time or money to do what I want/need to do
  • I lack integrity with myself; I don’t follow through on completing tasks that will move my business and my life forward
  • I chronically undervalue my contributions and talents; I don’t charge enough for my goods and services.
  • You are confused about your gifts and abilities.
  • You have issues around receiving.

Remedy:  Start with what you have.  Surely you have enough money to host a simple website on a company’s server for less than $10 a month!  Surely you know enough about your service or product to write articles and submit to article banks which will up your website’s ranking in Google, thus attracting more people who are looking for what you sell.  You may be afraid of two things:  the many actions steps you’ll have to take to build your business or you may be afraid of how much your life will change when your business takes off.  Remember FEAR is False Expectations Appearing Real.

Some Examples of How You Can Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway:

You can go back to school using a federal Stafford Loan.  Based on your income you may qualify for a Pell Grant which you won’t have to pay back.  Your employer may have a tuition assistance program.  If your credit is in the tank and you can’t buy a house in a traditional manner, you may be able to enter a lease-option to buy arrangement or you may find a house where the owner is willing to hold the mortgage and not check your credit but will base your creditworthiness on how long you’ve held a job or lived in your current place.

Have you fooled yourself into remaining in a poor relationship because you don’t feel there are enough good, decent men available, think again.  Whatever you desire and believe in your heart and mind and ask God for, you will receive.

Lesson 3: How to tell if I am suffering from apathy (lack of interest in business or absence of desire to do anything):

  • If you are experiencing feelings of “I don’t belong” or “I’m not an expert at anything” or “My product probably won’t sell”

Remedy:   When we share our creativity with an appropriate audience, our money will grow.  There is a direct correlation between my bank account and whether or not I share my creativity and gifts with the world.

Lesson 4: How to tell if I’m suffering from people pleasing disease.

  • You experience difficulty speaking up and are afraid to voice your real point of view. You fail to say what you feel.  In business and relationships of all kinds, clear communication is vital!

Remedy:  Find your voice and live your authentic life.  Tell the truth under all circumstances and if you live in your truth and tell the truth, you have nothing to fear.  We as women must remember to tell the truth in love but always express how you are feeling.  This applies to the boardroom, the bedroom and every other room in between.

Lesson 5: How to tell if I don’t believe that I can really have what I say I want.

  • You are living in a victim state of mind and you are doing so because you are receiving some type of goodies or reward for living in this state of being. You may actually be a victim or you may set yourself up to appear to be a victim (perhaps subconsciously).

Remedy:  Be clear with yourself and others regarding your desires and set boundaries with people.

Lesson 6: How to tell if you are afraid to move forward.

  • You are paralyzed into action because you are afraid that you won’t like what the future holds so you take no action.
  • You are afraid to dream big and you keep a tight reign on your dreams and desires.

Remedy:  Know that the plans God has for you are good and not evil to give you a future and a hope.  Jeremiah 29:11

Lesson 7: How to tell if you are suffering from intimacy issues with yourself and others.

  • You fail to listen to and heed your inner voice. This inner voice is oftentimes referred to as Spirit or the Holy Spirit.

Remedy:  Trust people to show up as exactly as they are.  If you see a wart, quit telling yourself it’s a little pimple that will dry up on it’s on.  If it has webbed yellow feet, walks like a duck and quacks, it’s a duck.  It is not a peacock; even if the duck paints it feathers various colors, it is not a peacock but a duck.

The most intimate relationship you’ll ever have is with Spirit.  If you don’t trust this intimate relationship and develop this intimate relationship, you’ll experience great difficulty experiencing an intimate relationship with anyone else.

Lesson 8: How to tell if you are suffering from feelings of powerlessness.

  • You don’t notice or give yourself credit for what you have accomplished. You only focus on what you have not accomplished.
  • You experience feelings of overwhelm regarding responsibilities, paperwork and the demands of others.
  • You try to hide from your power and expect someone else to “do it for me.”
  • You blame someone else for your issues.
  • You shoot yourself in the foot when you are about to go to the next level.

Remedy:  Know that Jesus has already come and no one else is coming.  Know that this life you are living is not a dress rehearsal; this is the real deal and once time is lost, it’s lost forever.  Take stock of your life and give yourself the credit you deserve.  Successfully raised your children in a single parent home?  Pat yourself on the back.  Completed a college degree while working full-time and maybe raising family, maybe as a single parent? Pat yourself on the back.  Successfully reached your weight goal and you are now 1, 2 or even 3 dress sizes smaller and have extended your life expectancy?  Pat yourself on the back.  Successfully paid off a credit card and are now using that extra money a month to build your savings or save for a special vacation or some other goal?  Pat yourself on the back.

Lesson 9: How to tell if you are suffering from lack of self-love and appreciation.

  • You feel guilty about taking time for yourself or spending money on yourself because you think taking time for yourself is taking time from others or spending money on yourself is money that you could’ve spent on someone else.
  • You find it difficult to receive a compliment or unexpected gift from someone.

Remedy:  Do you remember that hair color commercial in which the hair color is priced above others in the store?  It’s L’Oreal but I’m darned well worth it.  Well you are darned well worth a regular massage, you are darned well worth a new outfit or shoes every now and then, you are darned well worth eating organic, fresh fruit and vegetables … the list is endless.  Know that you are darned well worth it.  Focus more on what feels right for you and what you think rather than what you think other people think.  Most of the time when we think other people think little or less of us when we take care of ourselves, we are wrong.  Most people are so busy dealing with their own stuff, they are not taking note of the fact that you got your hair and nails done.  If they do take note, it’s their issue and not yours.

Lesson 10: How to tell you are suffering from the inability to surrender.

  • You see that something is not working out but you are damned and determined to make it work out (even if it kills you – and it just darned well may do that), you dig your heels in to force it to work.

Remedy:  Stop doing what or being where you know you shouldn’t.  Quit being at war with God and the flow of life. Surrender what you think a thing should look or feel like or how you believe a person should act and just let go.  If the thing is broken and they are not acting right, just let it or them go and know that you will be alright.  Trust and know that was with you before you were even formed in your mother’s womb and that if you make your bed in the depths of hell, He will be there also.  Don’t loose your mind, your health, your peace, your money, your children, your whatever over anything or anyone.

Surrender and Let Go!

Just surrender and let go.  When you feel the need to grip something that you need to let go of, visualize yourself, griping a smolder, glowing hot piece of steel.  Think of the severe damage that you will do to your hand if you continue to hold this smoldering, glowing hot piece of steel.  But guess what, God has engineered your brain in such a way that you are not really given a choice in the matter.  When you touch something that is too hot, you instinctively have to let it go – even before you realize that it’s too hot!  It will take every fiber of your being to do this but when you find yourself up against a formidable adversary and you know that this adversary is whipping your butt royally, just stop, drop and roll yourself into the hands of God.  Surrender it to Him.

Lesson 11: How to tell if you are suffering from the fear of being alone.

  • You abandon yourself to remain in an unproductive relationship, place or circumstance.
  • You consciously or unconsciously lie by omitting the truth to yourself and to those who love you.
  • You find yourself stuck in someone else’s life movie or you find yourself living up to someone else’s expectations.
  • You pick partners that emotionally or physically unavailable.

Remedy:  Know that if you are so willing to be with the wrong person, in the wrong job or the wrong business, think how wonderful your life will be when you separate from the wrong person, leave the wrong job or close the wrong business so that you will have room in your life for the right person, job or business.

Focusing On What Spirit is Telling You is The Key

The key is to focus on what your life will look like when you let go of what is not right.  Know that spirit is speaking to you in only a voice that you can understand.  Why do I make this point?  Let me give you an example.  You are living in a million dollar mansion with a devastatingly handsome, successful man but the man has shown you every way possible that he doesn’t love or respect you.  Your friends tell you how lucky you are and when they are visiting you in your mansion, this devastatingly handsome man is on his best behavior and treat your friends like they are golden.  But spirit is constantly prodding you and reminding you that this man really does not love, adore and cherish you as a husband should.  Girlfriend, you are living up to someone else’s expectations and you are stuck in this man’s life movie.

So, once we are clear about these 11 life lessons and addressing those that apply to us, how do we move our life forward?

Know these things:

  • The #1 thing holding me, my business and my life back; the #1 thing that is preventing me from prospering is that I have refused to take responsibility for my life lessons. I must take inventory of my life; warts and all take responsibility for everything in my life – the good, the bad and the ugly.  When I take responsibility for what is present in my life, I am able to take responsibility for resolving what is not working in my life and doing better.  As long as I blame someone else for what is not right, I cannot do better, I cannot heal and I cannot move forward into my destiny.
  • I am here to teach what I am here to learn. I’ll use myself as an example.  I am here to learn and teach other women how to walk in and take action in faith, even when I don’t know what lies ahead.  I am here to learn and teach other women to listen to and heed our inner voice.  I am here to learn and teach other women how to start and build successful business and wealth.  How do I know these things?  Because of the life lessons that God continues to allow me to participate in.  Things that I should know by now but have been to stubborn to learn and accept.  As I learn these lessons and accept these lessons, I am able to teach these lessons.
  • I must live the promise. If I am not yet who I have the promise in me to be, I must walk and talk the promise until I become the promise.
  • I must take thoughtful action on what I know. Once something is revealed to me, I must know act like I don’t know.  I must act on what I know.
  • I must become a decision maker. I must take all information available to me right now and make a decision and stand by that decision. Even if I have to make an alternate decision later, I must decide.
  • I must have a vision for my life in all areas of my life because having vision allows me to be a great planner and strategist.
  • I must take these life lessons and create great achievements with them.

Carmin Wharton is a life and business coach to women who are stuck and can’t move forward to create the dream life, career or business they deserve.  She helps women change their lives one goal at the time!

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