Life Coaching Blog

Coach Carmin Wharton’s blog featuring tips to help women design and maintain a successful and authentic life!

Relax, Focus, Prosper

Do you feel in a perpetual state of “Hurry up; I gotta get this done now?”  Girl, it's time to relax, focus and prosper! Most of us spend our days on a treadmill, putting some miles on our feet but never really getting to where it is we want or need to be. Does this sound like you? It definitely sounds like me but that’s about to change.  We are living in a time where everything is fast paced.  You go through the fast food drive up and they have a sign telling you to have your money ready when you get to the window.  So, you find yourself, trying to put the car in drive gear and fumbling with your purse at the same time.  When you get to the window the person with the headset on looks at you crazy because you weren’t able to get your money out in the time it took for you to pull up from the ordering board to the window.  Can you relate?  Life has become so fast paced that it is easy to get sucked up into the whirlwind of it all.  We feel guilty can't afford to stop long enough to catch our breath, and we continue to race on this treadmill that often seems to be going nowhere.

What's the Point?

At some point we have to ask ourselves, “What is the point?”  Even those who know what their purpose and passion is, and are confidently moving in the direction of their dreams fall into the trap of frantic living.  We fall prey to deadlines and obligations, some real, and some imagined.

After a while, do you know what happens?  Something inside of you snaps and you say, “Enough is enough. I know there’s got to be more to life than this.  I need to get off this treadmill and really get down to the business of living my purpose.”  God put these “I’ve had it.  Enough is enough. I know there’s got to be more to life than this” feelings inside of us for a reason – to nudge you in the right direction and toward the life you should be living, the life you deserve to be living.

Turn It Around

But how do you turn yourself around or in a new direction?

Start right where you are in the life you are living now.  Be and do you now.  Sit down and decide exactly what you want and then set about getting what you want right now.  Once I had gotten to the “There has got to be more to life than this” point in my life, this quote by Bunker Hart is what made me decide to move toward the life I needed and deserved:

The steps to success are simple:

Decide what you want.

Determine the price.

Pay the price.

My free course, 9 Steps to Success for Women is a great tool for helping you achieve success in just about every area of your life!

If you have a job that you don’t like, begin today to do that job well and at the same time, start taking steps today to get another one or start your own business.  The minute you commit to doing the best where you are now, the universe will open up and bring you better.   If it means, sending out resumes, taking classes, building a website or writing a business plan – whatever – start it today while you are still where you are in the current job.

Don’t wait until you have the better job to do something grand, do something grand today.  Don’t wait until you have a new car to wash and vacuum your car; wash and vacuum the car you have.  Be and do grand now.  Be present in your life now; quit projecting to the future, waiting to become and do something grand.  Be and do grand now.  Once you do, you will begin to enjoy the feeling that accompanies doing something well.  That feeling will draw the ideal job and car to you.  This does not mean that you add things to your plate; quite the contrary.  This type of thinking will allow you to focus on the present – the task at hand. If you are washing and vacuuming your current car, focus on making that baby shine – focus on doing a good job right now with what is in front of you.  Relax and enjoy the task at hand. This will make old circumstances and situations and things fall away.


There are times in life where things are just hectic and there is not much you can do about deadlines that are imposed on your by forces outside of yourself.  When you find yourself in stressful situations, here’s the key, do not stress. Relax.  Do whatever you need to do (pray, mediate, breathe deeply) to calm yourself.  Be determined to calm your spirit.  Very often the stress we feel during hectic times in our lives is self-imposed.  Others are not requiring you to be stressed out and running around like a chicken with your head cut off.  You are doing this to yourself.  When you push against something in a forceful manner, it resists and pushes back and you get a lot less done.    Eliminate it and see how much more things go your way and just evolve and the universe cooperates in unbelievable fashion. To relax is a beautiful thing.


Let’s face it; there are some things that are not under your control.  In fact, much of what we stress about is not under our control.  Oh, here’s another thing too.  When you encounter a problem and get all krunk, getting yourself in gear to attack the problem, withdraw and decide if it’s your problem.  I have a friend who is temporarily living with a relative who has an unruly child.  This friend has taken it upon himself to straighten this child out but the child’s parents don’t seem to see the need to straighten the child out.  My friend just goes all crazy when the child mouths off at her mother and just jumps in and gets in the child’s face, running his blood pressure through the roof.  While he loves his family, it’s not his child and it’s not his problem.  The funny thing is that the child seems to respect him.  She probably exhibits this respect out of fear but who cares?  This child’s behavior is not his responsibility so why is he allowing her behavior to stress him out, especially since the parent’s have clearly exhibited their inability on lack of desire to discipline the child?

Our job is to do the things that we can do, and trust God to handle the rest. This requires you to focus.  If you will just relax and live with a calm spirit, God will work it out.  I have tried this method so many times and found peace that I have lost count of how often this has happened.  Opportunities that I could not have foreseen and people who can help me just appear out of nowhere.   If you are frantic and allow yourself to become stressed, God steps back and allows you to handle matters yourself and we all know how that usually works out.  This is how God has taught me to trust, depend and have faith in Him.  I finally had to ask, 'How many times must I go through this type of stress before I learn that everything is not in my control?  How many times do I have to learn this same lesson?”


Everyday I focus on calming down, trusting, depending and having faith in God.  I have also resigned from being the Manager of the Other People’s Business.  You can assist people if they ask by giving information, comforting them, etc. but so often I used to make their business my business without them even asking me to! If there is stress and confusion in a relationship or situation, that’s not God.  Withdraw, get calm and let go.  Your calm spirit will draw the right things and people to you. When the right things, circumstances and situations are drawn to you, you will also begin to prosper in all kinds of ways.   Being frantic and wound up will keep the right things and people away from you.

Do you know what stress really is?  Stress = worry = doubt (in God).  A woman I once worked with used to say, “While I was trying to figure it out, God had already worked it out.”  Hello.

Carmin Wharton is a life and business coach to women who are stuck and can’t move forward to create the dream life, career or business they deserve.  She helps women change their lives one goal at the time!