Life Coaching Blog

Coach Carmin Wharton’s blog featuring tips to help women design and maintain a successful and authentic life!

The Alpha Male and Why We Love Him


Ladies, have you ever wondered why you are attracted to some guys?

Guys, have you ever wondered why there are just some guys who women seem to be attracted to? Hopefully, you are this guy but if not . . .

For the most part, women can't explain it, can't fathom it but there is something about this guy that excites you! I'm not necessarily speaking of sexual attraction either. What I am speaking of is a man who just absolutely captivates you because of the way he carries himself. Take a look around, this guy could be co-worker who may be married or involved in a long-term relationship but female co-workers like to go to lunch with him, take breaks with him, converse with him-just be in his presence.

Now this is not the ego-driven, boastful guy who has a swagger about him-nooooo. The man I am talking about is the guy who carries himself with a quiet self-confidence. He's not out to prove anything to anybody and he is oh so comfortable in his own skin. Charisma and magnetism seep from his pores.

Once I learned that a phrase had been coined to describe this type of guy, I eased up on myself a bit about past relationship choices. In retrospect, I now know that some of the characters featured in my book, Lessons Learned: While Looking for Love in All the Wrong Faces were alpha males and that is why I was attracted to them! Alpha men come in all ages, sizes and colors. I also understand this is why I have been involved in certain platonic relationships with men. These guys have got it goin on!

You know that you are in the presence of an alpha male because you become intensely aware of yourself as a woman; you feel keenly alive around this guy. You're probably embarrassed to admit it, but this is the guy you make up excuses to seek out even if there is no possibility of or desire for an intimate relationship with him.

Another thing about an alpha male is that they are typically a man's man-assertive, tough and no nonsense when they have to be but, they have a heart of gold and can be as tender as a lamb, particularly when it comes to women and children. You will never hear this guy berate women in any way, shape, or form; even if he's been mishandled or abused in a former relationship. This is the guy who would never hit a woman even if he's provoked to do so.

The Alpha Male is the guy who may walk into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. But, for however long he's in your life, you will never forget him.

If you want to learn what type of man it’s best to walk away from, check out my relationship memoir, Lessons Learned: While Looking for Love in All the Wrong Faces